adjust your crown

I had the great opportunity to attend the Alabama Conference of Social Work with some great people this past week. 

While I learned many things and enjoyed the time with my fellow classmates, one particular moment from the three days of workshops and speakers stood out to me.

 Miss Alabama's Outstanding Teen 2015, Kaitlynn Campbell, came to speak to us. Her story was beautiful and of course brought a few tears to the room. Here is a girl who had been a victim of abuse and had lived in different foster care and group homes. She shared her struggles, her negative attitude, her beautiful and heart-warming story. Please, if you ever get the time, google her and read her story. The basis of her speech was beautiful, because it was guided by the Holy Spirit. In a world where publicly glorifying God is frowned upon, that inspiring young lady stood up in front of over 200 people to share her story and give God the glory for every bit of success in her life. She was a refreshing breath of air to remind everyone to keep their eyes on the One above, through every circumstance. Never forget to give Him the glory. Her story alone will give you chill bumps, but I think it was the overwhelming love and presence of God that entered that room that made me (and many others) cry.

"A Daughter of the King is not known by the CROWN she wears, but the MESSAGE she bears."

 Kaitlynn may have been wearing her Miss Alabama's Outstanding Teen crown, but she had a much more admirable crown glowing brightly on her head. She is a daughter of the one true King and the crown that had been bought and paid for was shining radiantly. 

Ladies, who created you? God. YOU are a daughter of the King. While you readjust that crown on the top of your head, do the same to your attitude. You are a woman of God. If things are not going your way, if things are difficult right now, if things just seem to be falling apart, focus your eyes on the Lord. Satan will tell you that you are weak and that there is no hope. He will tell you that you're not good enough and nothing good is going to happen and that you might as well just accept it. God tells you that He is always there. God tells you that you are beautiful and loved. You are so worthy. Do you not feel that overwhelming power of love when you tell yourself that you were created by God? Jason Evert says that "Women are thousands of reminders of the beauty of Heaven." You have a radiant light. You have a pure and glowing soul. You have a gift and a purpose. You are worth more than rubies. You are more than perfect make-up and trendy clothes. YOU are thousands of reminders of the beauty of Heaven. Start acting like it! Start acting like the daughter of the one true King! Adjust your crown, hold your head up, and share His glory in love, tenderness, and faithfulness. This world and your hardships and failures do NOT determine your worth. Your worth comes from above, and it's time to let the world notice that. 

"The Son of God became a man to ENABLE men to become SONS of GOD."

(C.S. Lewis)

Gentlemen, stand tall. Who created you? God. (Can I make the joke about men being the rough draft? Okay okay, fine.) You have a crown too, you know. It has also been bought and paid for by your King. Now, adjust your crown and your attitude as well. Stop moping over your rich and successful dreams, stop obsessing over your perfect six-pack bod, stop thinking you're not good enough because some girl broke your heart. Lean on God and push through the obstacles. You were created to live victoriously. You are a man of God. Start acting like it. Follow God so that you may be the leader. Know God, so that you may know love. You are strong and intelligent.You are valuable and worthy. Be a man of prayer and stand strong in your faith. God took the time to create YOU. There is no other man on this Earth like YOU. Bask in that glory. Thank God. Stand tall. Share your faith, share His glory and His love.

Kaitlynn's world was full of hardships and pain. She persevered with a positive attitude and a mind focused on God. She finished off with a statement: "Just because bad things happen to you does not mean that you have to be a bad person." Just because you are struggling or things are not going right, it does not mean that those obstacles should define you. Your God is for you. It was heart-warming to watch Kaitlynn express that. Ladies and gentlemen, stop focusing on the bad. Shift your focus to things that are above. Focus on the beauty of God and all His beautiful creations and blessings. Now smile. Because YOU were created by Him. Because you are a child of God. Because you are so worthy! Let your heavenly crown radiate with strength, kindness, and prayer.

dear dad

There’s this song that I keep hearing recently on the radio. I’m sure the artist intended for it to be dedicated to some significant other. However, when Charlie Puth ("One Call Away" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxuY9FET9Y4) sings some of the lyrics, my mind immediately goes to my father. Now, before I begin this, let me just give a quick shout-out to my mother and brother. YOU GUYS ROCK, YOU’RE MY BEST FRIENDS, and I LOVE YOU. But I’m going to shine the spotlight on Dave for a little bit!

It has taken me two relationships to realize that my father is a very big blessing from my heavenly Father. My dad loves me and supports me unconditionally. I have disrespected him and  have been quiet with him, and yet he has still opened his arms when I run back to him. My dad is an amazing reflection of God’s love.  Future husband, if you indeed do exist, you will of course become the man that I love and cherish all the days of my life. But, I’m going to need you to remember that my father will always be the first man that I loved and will always cherish.

When I hear Charlie (I’ve decided he won’t mind that I’ve assumed we can be on a first name basis even though we’ve never met and he has no clue that I exist) sing “I’m only one call away, I’ll be there to save the day. Superman got nothing on me, I’m only one call away,” I immediately think of my father. There’s going to be a guy in my life that will sweep me off my feet, but my loving, greater than Superman dad will always be there to pick me up. It’s okay that I’m 2 hours away, because he is always one call away. He is always ready to be there for me.

“And when you’re weak, I’ll be strong……..and when you feel like hope is gone, just run into my arms.” During this depression and highly stressful stage, my father decided to send me daily texts for a week that read “Kelsey is awesome” or “Kelsey is beautiful” and “Kelsey is smart.” My God blessed me with a father that lifts me up, that reminds me of my glow when I feel a little dull. I can’t help but grin and think of my dad when I hear Charlie sing this song because it’s a song of genuine love, letting that person know that no matter what, I’m going to be right here to catch you and help you through things. That’s my dad. So, without further ado…..

Dear Dad: Let me begin with an apology. I am so very sorry I let boys get in the way of my relationship with my father. I was so busy seeking love and acceptance that I completely forgot about the amazing love and acceptance I already receive from the only man in my life that has been there for me since I came into this world (Blake too, but he gave me a black eye for tickling him so that should speak for itself).  Dad, you set the standard so high for the possibly existing future husband in my life. Thank you for being an amazing father and for showing me what I deserve. Thank you for constantly reminding me of my worth through text messages, hugs, and compliments. Thank you for making me laugh and for the forehead kisses I get when you leave for a business trip. Thank you for being a Godly man. Thank you for being patient when I lose my way and for loving me through everything. And thank you for forgiving me when I accidentally stabbed your face with a stick that had been in the fire. I blame my mother for the pyromaniac-like activity. Thank you for sharing music with me and for giving me your bag of  yogurt pretzels because you know they’re my favorite. Thank you for helping me carry my things when I’m packing to head back to college or running out in the rain with an umbrella when I pull into the driveway in a downpour. Thank you for somehow magically turning my favorite shirt back to the champagne color it’s supposed to be when I accidentally turned it blue. You’re my best friend, too, you know that? You’re the main man I can count on. I love you!

God blessed me with an amazing father. The realization has hit me multiple times this year and the topic lay heavy on my heart Sunday while in church.  Dads are gifts from Heaven. Don’t you forget it, fellow daughters..  Dads are the men that will “be the standard against which you will judge all men.” And my dad sets a pretty high standard. Love your dad. Respect your dad. God has blessed you with a man that teaches you of His glory, teaches you to love, and teaches you that you are so beautiful and worth very much.  “The sacred title of father is shared with the Almighty.”

Thank you, God, for blessing me with such an amazing father. Thank you for blessing me with a father that leads me to You. I love you, Dad. 

to define is to limit

            Loss of appetite. Anxiety. Inability to sleep. Agitation. Crying. Weight loss. Hopelessness. That’s the big one. So, let me repeat it again. Hopelessness. The word alone is enough to make your heart sink. All of these achey and disheartening words add up to one: Depression. It’s hard to get up in the mornings. The stomach is constantly unsettled and excessive thoughts are the enemy. Guilt lingers and anxiety suffocates. The exhaustion settles in and the crying begins. And just when it feels like there’s no more room for all of these joy-sucking demons, the noticeable weight loss and the inability to pull everything together joins the struggle to find positivity. Hopelessness.

            The demons got worse and worse as the months went on. I was second guessing everything. I was nervous and anxious every day. I cried so hard sometimes I had to pull my bed covers over my mouth and nose to catch my breath.  I turned to things that would never help pull me through the darkness. I was so focused on who liked me or didn’t like me (when half the time, I had the overwhelming feeling that everyone already disliked me). My hair started looking dull and thin. I got really skinny. I can remember crying in the mirror because my pants were baggy and my shirts were swallowing me. I worried so much about everyone around me which made the anxiety worse because I couldn’t get myself better, and now everybody was noticing. I gave up on God for a little while. I’m not proud to say it. I figured what’s the point. Nothing is working out. I’ve pushed myself away.  There’s really no point.

           

            I got a little bit of medical help, but that will never be as much help as my family and friends have been. I felt so skeptical on how I was going to get out of the deep and dark hole. I started praying again. I’m not sure what pushed me to do it, but I’m glad that it happened. I tried to keep myself busy on focusing on positives, took deep breaths when I felt the tears forming, and took up exercising every night. While all of these activities were stepping stones towards being healthy again, don’t let them distract you from the most important. 

Prayer. God is mighty. God is loving….God is love. God is always for you and He can do the impossible. It was an amazing relief when the words were formed in my head. “Depression does not define you.” Wow. Depression DOES NOT define me. There's a quote by Oscar Wilde: "To define is to limit." I will not limit myself by making depression my definition. I am a child of God. I was not created to live depressed or defeated. I was created to be victorious, to be joyous in the presence of God. I am beautiful. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Say it out loud. If you’re struggling with depression, if you’re struggling with your self-worth, or if you’re struggling with loving yourself, say it. YOU are a child of God. YOU are not created to live depressed or defeated. YOU were created to be victorious, to be joyous in the presence of God. You are beautiful, my friend. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4).  I did not begin writing this so that I could whine about my hard time. I began writing this because God deserves the glory for all the amazing things He does for us. I began writing this because God loves YOU and you deserve to be reminded of that. If you’re facing a struggle, it is okay. You are so worthy and so loved. Don’t let your obstacles define you. Don’t listen to the voice of the demons that fill you with guilt, worries, and discouragement. Listen to the voice of your God. The voice that fills you with love, hope, joy, comfort, and encouragement….you listen to that voice, because that voice, my friend, is the voice of truth. Do not be afraid.

I will choose faith over fear! I will meditate on what is positive and what is good about my situation. I will use my energy not to worry but to believe. Fear has no part in my life. I will not dwell on negative, discouraging thoughts. My mind is set on what God says about me. I know His plan for me is for success, victory, and abundance.